Memoirs of an Aja: Days my make-up ran
A woman's advice
" Why didn't he call me? I don't understand what I did wrong!"
I hear this again and again from girls and observe it daily in person, on movie screens, television, papers, magazines, etc. Not only have I been guilty of it but some of my friends and family members. So to combat future questions like the above, I have decided to make a list of the things women do to warrant this question. If you refer to my previous post, this list will also prevent "Drama" from happening. This is something similar to that movie with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey "How to lose a man in 10 days" but I am real life, these are real problems that any woman has and I am not doing it for a magazine, bet or promotion.
Also, shame on me and any other woman who does or might do these things in the future.
In no particular order:
1. For those ladies who are single, if a guy is nice to you, chances are he is ONLY BEING NICE. He may not want a relationship nor might he want a friendship. He may just want companionship for that moment in time or may just want someone to talk to. Don't blow things out of proportion by thinking if he gives you a hug or smiles at you that he wants to marry you or even be your boyfriend. Some guys are just genuinely nice and radiate that. Girls let their emotions get the most of them, me included, and they get too attached too quickly. So relax.
2. Don't bring up anything sexual. The last thing you want to do when you first meet a guy you might potentially like is to bring up anything sexual or anything to insinuate as much. What I have learned from observation of some of my friends is most guys are like a two sided coin. A girl mentions something sexual and the guy will only want her for sex and not see her as being one he can relate to emotionally. In some rare cases there have been a relationship to come out of those things but its not good to even risk it. If you have a regular conversation with a guy, flirting the proper way: with his mind rather than manhood, then your chances are good for a relationship or friendship that won't be based on lust.
3. Never, ever, ever tell a guy what you know about him, have heard about him, or have discovered about him since talking. Especially if it is just gossip. Bringing outside influences into a relationship will make him question what you are actually being truthful about and make him question the validity of your opinions of him and your situation. And whatever you do, try to restrain yourself from bringing up those things when you get angry at the other personor get in an argument. It only makes the person more mad.
4. When first starting to know a guy, KEEP IT PRIVATE. You don't want to jinx something good and bring in outside negativity. Learn for yourself who this person is and keep a journal if you have to tell the world how great the person is or bad. There is / are always going to be some girl(s) or guy(s) out there "hating" on your choice of relations. Also if there is an argument, keep it private. There is always a chance of reconciliation if no one knows about it. So Keep it private.
5. Don't ask stupid questions. Don't ask things to get a guy in trouble. "Does my butt look fat in these pants?" is one I have heard too many times. Asking anything about your weight, the way you look, the color of this or what shoes go with what will only put a guy into panic mode and then he will get mad that you even asked him something like that.
6. Don't constantly be nervous about or accuse your guy of cheating if he is not. If you keep doing that the guy will either be more apt to go and cheat and prove you right, or he will get fed up and leave you. There are some good guys out there and unless you know for a fact that he is cheating, leave that subject out of your relationship.
7. Always investigate a situation before you fly off the handle. This goes for friendships and relationships. Say for instance you are dating someone who is really popular and they are going to have men and women around them at all times. Don't get mad if that person is not paying attention to you or hanging out with you 24/7. If they are a busy person, and if they are a good person, they will find time out of their schedule to talk to you. If not, they aren't worth it.
8. If there is ever any doubt about a guy: his background, who he hangs with, what he does for a living, he is very secretive, etc, question it and get some answers. If you ever have a bad feeling about a guy, don't stay with him.
9. Confidence is key! Guys can read girls like a book and most guys like in a girl what girls like in a guy: Talent, education, confidence, passion about something, and a put together outward and inner apperance. Don't talk badly about other girls because that shows you have low self esteem. Thrill a guys mind by telling him something he doesn't know. That is the key to seduction. Be passionate about anything, whether it be Animal rights, Cosmetology, politics, etc. It is always good to have a passion and that in turn will show him your ability to be passionate about something.
Lastly....
10. Don't do the typical dumb female stuff:
Whining- It doesn't even get kids what they want
Stupid pet names- If you degrade a man or patronize him, it will tick him off. No one likes to be called "Mitchy Poopins."
Wanting to hang out all day everyday- Seriously, everyone needs space occasionally
Making him go to places he doesn't want to- Bed, Bath and Beyond; The Pottery Barn. etc. Just think about it. Not every guy is into that stuff.
Celebrating unnecessary anniversaries- It's just not necessary to celebrate anything other than yearly anniversaries and birthdays. Girls, knock it off. If you want a present, just ask him to buy you something. Don't create reasons for him to spend his money on you, take you out to a fancy restaurant or buy you a card. Be honest with the guy and don't make him celebrate every little thing in the relationship. It just doesn't make it special anymore.
Getting angry at him for not remembering unnecessary dates- I don't think anyone can remember every single little date and moment in their lives.
